BOO HOO !! hahas~
got a new blog skin. thanks Jialin !! :DD

Went for sjab today.
Energy drained off totally.
Train those kids for JNCO camp. Had " mingli " bunk inspection lesson.
Omg, i made 2 girls cried. I am so evil !! hahas~
Well well, i dunno what happen to me today.
Mood rather bad, screaming and shouting at everyone.
Everyone SIAM when they see me.
Maybe because i see those std4s showing no respect for seniors or maybe because CSM was suppose to be like this.
Cant blame. Its my job scope. :)

And so so OMFG !!
i cant go SNCO POP tml !! arggggg. :(
all because my mum wants me to go m'sia with her.
I don understand. Why must we feed mosquitos ??
so i will be M.I.A for 2 days. hahas~
Sorry Yong Qing and TEAM 5.
I do hope i can join u guys but i cant.
Its beyond my control. arggg !!! i am so like missing out the fun :(

Oh well, all i say in my previous blog was so like emo-ing.
So, ignore it if u don understand. hahas~
cause i also dunno what i talking.
hahahaha !! :DDDD'

Now i see the story.
We cant let go of our past yet want to start afresh.
This is what both of us never realise until today.
Now i know, i do not want to start afresh.
Neither do i want to walk forward.
I am tired. Very tired.
Single-hood isnt bad.
Happy life, no worries.
Now i understand why ppl say relationship sucks.
Ur story, My story.
They can never link together bcos we are from different worlds.
My story never end up with us.
Neither does urs end up with mine.
Different stories, different type of people we are.
Ever since that day, i knew its like this.
I knew it will end up like this but its just that i cant wake up my senses.
Cant get up from my dreams.
My dreams, me and u.
And her.
U holding her hand despite she tries to walk away.
I see our story.
Different start, different ending.
Cant rmb how gd u are.
Rmb u held her hand.
Cant rmb how she hurt u.
Rmb u didnt care.
Cant rmb when u smile at me.
Rmb u make me sad.
Choices are mine.
I can choose to be happy and i want to.
Therefore, i am going to leave ur story.
Continuing mine without you also.
U walk ur path, i walk mine.

hahahaha !!
and CONGRATS TO TEAM5 !!!
for passing SNCO'07.
Being ur advisor was the best thing in my SJAB life.
And for Huichen who didnt pass snco.
= don worry. Its not the end. we will tell u why u didnt pass soon.
And GD LUCK and ALL THE BEST for u guys. (for ur studies)
HAHAS~

BOO HOO !!
omg. this few days i am getting headaches easily.
i think too stress already. argggg !!

Today woke up at 10 plus.
and then eat breakfast and watch tv for 2 hrs plus.
Then i went mugginggg.
BUT.
I study manufacturing tech halfway fall aslp.
and slp all the way till 2.
Omg, so pig of me.

At 2, i went to bathe and out i go !! hahas~
Meeting Ben for late lunch.
Took 72 with Jun Hong.
Actually wanted to study but HEADACHE !!!
so we chatted instead.
Then we went for the test.
and muahaha !!!
I dunno how to do !!
SO DEAD !!
Nevermind abt the test.

After the test, Nice friend of ours.
CHYE SENG !!!
send me and Bryan to Enous mrt station.
And also send Jia Wen hm.
Thanks Chye seng !! :)

After reaching Enous, me and bryan went to buy bread to eat.
The cake i brought look nice but doesnt taste nice. :(
Then i head hm and Bryan head to cityhall. hahas~
Okay, hahas !!
No more paper.
Meet Boong tml.
SJAB for fri and sat.

Happy life !!~

喜欢对着天空发呆
想着你的笑容出现在人海
你总是能让我开怀
忍耐我的坏
只是这一切将烟消云散
也许遇见你是个错
错在我们身处不同的时空
两颗心交会的时候
一分钟就足够
够我一辈子想念很久
我会选择离开
微笑告别伤害
我知道你心中的那份遗憾
当你为她戴上幸福的头盖
我含泪祝福你有美的未来
想飞到千里外
期待一切重来
想洗去你对你的所有依赖
但谢谢你让我体会了真爱
我永远记得你心中的遗憾

bahaha !!
I am back from SJAB. hahas~
screaming and shouting today make me so tired.
yawns !!
Do not wish to elaborate further on their performance.
I angryyyyy.

hahas~
had meeting wih Grace and the teachers today.
well well well, lots of issue.
argggg !! hahas`

okay, dowan to say much anymore.
i am so tired to carry on with this.
I am sorry to say, u make me so so disappointed.
I dowan to say anything anymore.
Enough is enough. maybe too much things happen.
Everything has change.

BOO HOO !!
hahas~ madness !!
Today i went school and went hm with Pighead.
* smiles *.

Okay, today i had engineering mechanics test.
and well, to my suprise.
I KNOW 2 QNS !! hahas~
really stunt when i see the paper.
Bcos the other 2 i dunno.
I ony rmb half the formula.
My brain are so freaking wierd. Only rmb half the formula. argggg !!
shall not brood over it.

Going to meet Grace at 2 later for lunch.
Going back to secondary sch later. hahas~
For SJAB meeting and train those kids.
This fri is St.John day thats why they need to train up a bit.
So i go down and stare and scream. hahas~
Okay, blog again when i come back.

Off to SCREAM-ing session. hahas~
Missing him badly. :(

bahaha !!
i wonder why i start my entry with some wierd laughter everytime. hahas~
hahas~ today i went school with pighead again.
Pighead is nice.

oh well, today i had material technology test.
its so omg lor.
everyone say its difficult bcos of the creep graph.
argggg, it is difficult okay.
i study also dunno. * pissed *.

After test, walk with Ben and Jackie to north canteen.
I could only rmb them bcos the others will strolling behind and i forgot who.
Madness walking to north canteen.
Super duper far !!
all credits to Ben for wanting to eat the beef steak there.
walk all the way there, and its packed.
we found some seats but its not enough so i left.
i don feel like eating also so i went library to look for seats. hahas~
Bcos i going to study with him.
He's going to teach me engineering mechanics.

Engineering mechanics really dislike mingli.
bcos mingli cannot rmb.
and mingli also dislike engineering mechanics.
HEADACHE HEADACHE !!!
and i am having a test tml. argggg !!
okay, serious mugggggingggg. :)

Off to mugggginggg.
I finally saw him today. but still missing him.
and thanks for teaching me arh. * smiles *
Bye !! hahas~

oh well, its 07.46 in the morning.
and here am i. wahaha~
today i got a test.
so i woke up to do serious mugging.
bcos i fall aslp last night while reading through it again. hahas~

okay, off to mugging and then meet pighead to school.
and i am missing him.
and don ask who i miss when i am refering abt you. thanks =)

muhaha !!!
just now i had a afternoon nap and all i could say is SUPERB. :)
Refreshing and comfortable.
After waking up, i had abt 2 hrs of tv-ing session.
Tv programmes getting more and more boring.
Drama series are so much nicer. hahas~

Then i had muggging session !! I am a gd girl for today.
bcos today maths paper, i am like so sure to flunk it.
and i worry.
So i need to study for material tech test tml.
and it isnt as hard as i thought it is. hahas~
Just like that wierd chemistry that i dislike and love last time.
Hopefully tml test is a no prob to me. hahas~

And tml i wil be mugging for engineering mechanics.
i don like that module and i bet it don like me either. :(
hahas~ but i am still going to study tml.
and he's coaching me. thats gd.
at least i got a teacher. hahas~

super long never talk to him.
missing him so much.<3

wahaha !! okay. madness !!
i think just like what ben say, the fever has killed some of my brain cells.
but ben was mean okay. and i mean VERY mean.
he say i didnt have a lot to start with. wth. hahas~

Today school started again.
Meet pighead in the morning and go school with him.
we took mrt to school.
He pinch my cheeks so hard that it turn red.idiot !!! hahas !!
and he says i am chubby. arggg !! means i am fat !!
DIET DIET DIET !!

Okay, anyway.Today i had my first paper in NYP.
and its freaking maths. -.-
Oh well, i flunk it already.
Looking at that paper, like looking at some alien symbols and equations lah. aiyooo.
Super difficult.
and tml is material tech. yucks !!
muggggging~
but first.
i wanna slp. tiredddd.
Bcos of my flu, i didnt had a gd night slp. hahas~

Off to slping.
Miss him.<3

oh hahahas !! what a start !! hahas~
Its sort of a wonderful day today bcos FEVER didnt really approach me !! hahas~
oh well, it still did somehow but not that much today. hahas~ lalalala !!
Like finally lah, its finally gone gone gone !!
I could still feel the heat stirring around but well, just don pop out that frequent. wahaha !!
at least i don have to go hospital anymore.
bahaha !! okay, madness. =D
Hapy muggggging today !! hahas~

omg omg omg.
school tml and tml and tml.
end of hols. oh well, what a holiday spent, being sick and having camps.
wahaha, camp was fun.
sick was no fun. hahas~
anyway, i am missing my friends. Glad to see them tml. hahas !!
and i am missing him. does he knows that ? hahas.

okay, shall not talk much.
off to mugging !! hahas~

Oh well, here to mention again that i am still SICK !! stll having fever that comes and go, comes and go.
aiyoooooo.
when will it stop harassing me ? scram scram scram.
so torturing to see food everyone and cant touch them. All i can eat is porridge and porridge.
BUT.
Today went for advisory meeting at HQ despite i am sick.
and i seriously dowan to mention what state yong qing got me into. hahas~
Went for advisory meeting without apprasials and stuff.
Before the meeting, went with pighead and yan qi to army market and eat prawn noodle.
I seriously dunno if i can eat that and i had sugarcane drink also. ( heheees, i got a cough ).
After meeting went with pighead to golden mile to search for trophies and medals.
well, i am the one that needed medals. ( for that stupid games day )

After searching for medals and stuff.
went for JNCO meeting.( okay !! i just know of the meeting during advisory meeting)
Lots of issues and stuff. None of my business. hahas~
I just sat there and eat BK Fish meal.
Okay, eating that is totally wrong for a person who is having fever.
But i have been craving for food for abt 4 days already.
porridge and porridge. Madness !!! hahas~
After the first round of JNCO meeting, actually got 2nd round.
well, i guess i am not fit for the 2nd round so i head home. hahas~

* the end * ( of my sins today)
I got my punishment, i got a FEVER again. hahas~
BUT. I crave for my fishball noodle later. hahas !!
omg omg. dying soon..

Anyway, i am so tired to carry on.

And i am missing him lots. Bcos i am sick, i cant talk to him. :(

Still sick lah. Argggg~
no voice to talk also. omg lor. and tml got advisory meeting somemore.
OMG OMG OMG !! cant talk how to present ? sians~

Hello people !! hahas~
Well, i read er jie's blog. And she wrote she wanna M.I.A . I thinking of doing that also.
Reject all calls and don reply all msges. I think nobody bother also. I told ppl around that i think of doing that. They ask me if my brain is damaged bcos of the fever.

No no no. There is nothing wrong with my brain okay !! I just wanna see there is how many ppl true around me, that would bother abt my presence. Or just that nobody even care if i die a not. Oh well, maybe whether my friends call me a not doesnt matter the most. What matters the most is whether he cares a not. This comforts me the most and also hurts me the most.

And i am sick, cant go for SUBBQ today. hais~
I wanna go. so i can see him. cos i am missing him like mad. :(
and he hasn't been replying my msges.
okay, how abt tml ??
okay, one more issue. why she view my profile again ?

Thinking deeply.

When a girl is angry, don't ask herwhats wrong.
Think of the answer yourself.
A girl does not like to say the reason.

when you catch a girl
glancing at you,
she wants you to look
back and smile.

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when
you run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through
her mind

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes
full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after
a few seconds,
she is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing games

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever

When a girl says she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future

When a girl says, "I miss you",
no one in this world can miss you more than that

aiyoooo. still sick and now even worse. - high fever !!!
sians~
fever fever go away, come again another day.
having fever is really very xin ku lor. =(

His care and concern would be the best medicine. :)

Aiyooo, it seems like i arent recovering. Fever comes and approach me again. sick sick sick !!
Junk food Junk food Junk food. I love them.
Now cant eat any. sobs sobs. =(

And now i miss him, hopefully he's by my side when i am sick and bored.

Well well well. I am still like sick and i sort of made a decision abt the issue days before. Now i going to resolve it. hahas~

Okay, i am going to keep on moving. Keep on walking. I don think turning behind is a gd idea. Since it has all pass, i shall not cry over it. Cos it is no longer under my control. ( well, neither does the guy in front is ). Oh well, shall not dwell over it.

What things he made me cry. What things he made me touched. What things he given to me. What things he said. What things he done for me.
Now i could only rmb he left me alone there 6 months ago.
Now i could only rmb i saw him with someone else.
Now i could only rmb he treats everyone that gd.
Now i could only rmb he didnt look back when he left.

Oh well oh well, let bygones be bygones. Whats important is the person i love now. Whether he is okay, whether he has enough care and concern from me despite me knowing it might get no way. hahas~.

Actually i felt everything is drifting away from me. I become more and more anti-social. Would u mind to show me a bitof care and concern so that i can feel that actually everyone still cares for me ? :(

emo-ing.

我曾 认真 深爱著一个人 他给我幸福的可能
我等 我问 未来何时发生 他只是给我一个吻

快乐 我哭 是因为你的手 曾答应带我向前走
难过 我哭 是因为我的手 找不到你说的以后

好眼泪 坏眼泪 我都曾为你流 感动和悲伤都是理由
只不过 在你不再爱我了以后 剩坏的眼泪慢慢流

快乐 我哭 是因为我付出 得到你温柔的答覆
难过 我哭 是因为我任性 你的心永远留不住

好眼泪 坏眼泪 我都曾为你流 感动和悲伤都是理由
只希望 在我不再想你了之后 有好的眼泪慢慢流

好眼泪 坏眼泪 我都曾为你流 感动和悲伤都是理由
只希望 在我不再想你了之后 有好的眼泪慢慢流

有好的笑容陪著我

TAGGED.

Okay, thanks to Theodora er jie.
Now i got to do this wierd thing, like typing out 10 wierd things or habits abt myself. hahas~

1. I got cotton-wool brain.
2. I love to go swimming when i don even know how to swim.
3. I love to do testimonial-ing with Jiaying.
4. I love singing in the bathroom like er jie. ( opps, hahas )
5. I also dunno what i wanted.
6. I spend money like nobody business then get frustrated when broke.
7. I want to be loved also.
8. I love to eat and eat.
9. I love SJAB a lot just that i seldom show it out.
10. This survey is sick. hahas.

Now i going to tag Iris, Shikin mother, Jessica grandmother, Glenda and Boong. AND GRANDUNCLE BEN. hahas.

I love to be sick so ppl will care abt me.

INFECTED WITH VIRUS !!

MINGLI is infected with virus. hahas.
i am sick !! i got fever, cough and sorethroat. sobs sobs. =(

CONFUSED.

I dunno what to say. I think back abt him when i saw him.
He touched my face, remove a white small piece of tissue from my forehead.
He encourage me, how do i feel that way again ?
I thought its past already. Why ? i dunno how.
I am stuck in between.
I don think i am going to move any steps. I am tired.
I want ppl to love me instead.
Close my eyes and slp forever.

NOT LEAVING.

Its bcos of games day Os that makes me irritated abt sjab.
I stil have the passion, so i guess i wont be quitting soon. hahas~
after snco, i really learn a lot of things. Wake up my ideas and mature a little.
i will never make impulsive decision. hahas.

AND MY TEAM IS THE BEST !! hahas.
TEAM 5 !!
IRIS.HUICHEN.YUDA.TIANQING.
AMIRA.SHUHUI.AUDREY.
JASON.JUSTIN.YEYEN.
KUNMING.JASMINE.
YONGQING AND ME. hahas. =)

CAMP DAY 2

Had morning PT and then stretch all our muscles. PAIN !! Sitting down also pain. I think i am the only trainer carrying a deep heat around. In the afternoon was situational test for the cadets and finally yong qing is here. hahas.

We need to grade them also for situational test. Then after lunch they had mock planning exercise. okay, they made some errors but was corrected and its the most boring session. After that was dinner again. omg. lunch not long ago then dinner again. After dinner, they had planning exercise. This was torturing okay, they plan till 2plus. We slp late also. hahas~ but i sneak off with yan Qi to slp early.

End of tireness of day 2.

CAMP DAY 1

Camp day 1 i was a bit lost, but i somehow able to get into the picture of being a advisor already under the help of the other advisors and Sir wah wei and Sir Alan.

In the morning, we had team building activities. The route was suppose to be from GVSS to pasir ris town park then to IKEA which is super far and then to pets hotel and then to fisherman village but not enough time so we only manage to finish pets hotel that station. Luckily there is Sir Alan to help me out during this activity bcos i cant read the map !! hahas. My team was the first to reach back GVSS !! yay !! My legs cramps here again after walking for really long.

Then after lunch is lecture by sir Pia leong to the cadets. Dozing session for me.~ hahas. But doze halfway called dw for adviors meeting bcos of the triage 0 later. Triage codeword was far lame. RED RABBITS !! hahas~ After triage 0 is dinner. Lunch was like not long ago then dinner. hahas.

After dinner was a hell session to the cadets, shouted right at the face by those officers. BUNK INSPECTION. hahas, scream right in front of them. After that is triage again !! till abt 11 plus then the cadets went to bathe and lights off. Then we had meetings and meeting again till 2 plus, then we head to bathe then slp and then wake up at 5.

I MISS SNCO.

I am missing snco already when i just book out yesterday. hahas.
Well, snco pass really fast.
My team, Team 5. Those kids really made my day.
Telling them how they can improve on their performance and seeing them trying their best to improve it. wow !! touched~
And those advisors.
Like wanling, grace foo, grace ong, Jun Qi, Alvin, Yong qing, Glynis, Johnson, Yan Qi, Yu han and me seriously enjoyed ourself in the advisory room with sir wah wei and sir Alan.
I really learn a lot of things from this camp althou being a trainer.
This is the snco camp that i enjoyed myself the most.
4 days pass so fast. I completed my route march also. hahas.
No complaints for this camp bcos i enjoyed a lot. hahas.

I couldnt book out bcos i am far too busy in that camp with meetings and i only had 5 hrs of slp for 3 days. :)
and i am sick. Muscle cramps, sore throat, running nose and fever.
later then i type brief explanation of what happen in camp. hahas.

STRESSSSSS.

Okay. Today is a super busy day for me. Arggggg~
Early in the morning, leeling's msg. " Pls rmb to submit Os for games to me by tonight. "
She and her naggy msges. She dunno send how many le lor.
leave me alone leeling~.

Then wake up at 6 to prepare to go for Snco Pre-camp. yawns~
Meet Fairus and Gerald at 6.45. As usual, they were late. hahas.
Then advisory meeting in the morning with wah wei.
Aiyo, aiyo, aiyo.
SUPER STRESS. i am quite lost actually, no direction.
I dunno what to do lah. And that yong qing went for his sweet hols leaving me to handle 13 kids alone. * faints *
I don really know what to do lah, so many things undone. aiyoooooo~

And bcos of that meeting that last so long and is super bored.
I cant call him. Suppose to give him morning call. Then i cant leave in the middle. ARGGG!!
Lucky he wasnt late for his lesson. * phew *.
But i am pretty gulity. :(

After that torturing pre-camp.
Being hungry and tired, i had to tk 1 hr bus to NYP to tk my books.
Then tk 1 hr bus back again. But got granduncle ben !! hahas.
Who accompany me talk on the bus !! and bullying me. -.-
Then my mum called and rush me go hm help my father with his 25 pages report.
I haven pack my camp things, haven rush Os ( which i am not going to bother. ) and help my dad with his report.
omg omg omg. STRESS !!!
yong qing yong qing !! faster come back lah. sobs =X

Omg omg, 4 days of toturing !! =(
I wanna stay in a piece but route march i gonna faint. hahas.
but well, i can jian fei also !! hahas.

Update my blog again when i come back. hahas.~
i will miss him lots. =(

A LONG POST

A extremely bad day for me.
His words, hurt me deeply.
The conversation.
you sound pissed and i can tell.
Every word u say, i thought abt it. Nothing came in my mind.
Only tears unable to controll themselves.

I went offline not bcos i wanted to sleep.
Bcos i dunno how long i can stand just let tears rolling down.
without breakng down.
I don't want to talk abt that topic. I choose to run away from it.
Bcos i dunno how long can i withstand those hurting sentences in the conversation.

After going offline, i msg you.
Requesting if u can never talk to me abt that again.
U reply. U change topic. U didnt answer my question.
I ask that question again. U still refuse to answer.
I dunno what to say.

In the conversation, u say i am too nice.
Too nice that u are not worth me doing all this.
Let me tell you, i arent nice.
Bcos i wont listen to you.
You say i am wasting my time.
But its " MY " time. and i like to spend it this way.
U break ur promise.
U promised me you wont stop me from doing anything.
Yet u are stopping me now.

I dunno what happen to you.
Ur msn nick.
I want to know, but i don dare to ask.
I wanted to help you, even letting you vent anger on.
But i dunno anything.
I feel helpless. I don't want to see your msn nick like this.
And then u tell me all those stuff.
I rather u call me, tell me that u are unhappy.
Then i keep quiet. Let u say all those unhappiness.
Let u vent ur anger.
Why cant it just be this way ?

I know u don like me.
I know, i do know. You don have to draw such a clear line.
I know u dislike relationship. I didnt even think of that.
I also don dare. I just wanted you to sometimes care for me a bit.
As a friend i know.

Since how long ago, you have been telling me that u "suck".
Tell me that u arent a nice person, tell me that u are selfish.
But did i listen ? did i care ?
And i have seen u trying to prove all this to me.
Trying to prove u a arent nice, prove u are selfish.
I have seen it but did i leave ? did i care ?
NO.
Bcos i didnt want to leave, i rather take ur so called " selfish-ness".
When u want to be alone, i stand aside and keep quiet.

I am stubborn, i don listen to others.
Others say, do u know u have been emotionally unstable ?
I don listen, i dowan to listen. I am stubborn and silly.
I just want to live in my own world with just doing things for you.
Even without getting anything in return. Even when u tell me it might go no way.
I am hurt. But i want to continue.
Friends tell me, " stop it !! You are getting urself deeper and u will feel more hurt next time".
I dunno. I don care.
And then i get back reply saying i am dumb, i sld go and kill myself.
I don give it a damn.
I just want to carry on this way even if it is going no way.

Things are very easy.
I like you. Its my heart.
U cant stop me.

Just let me continue pls ? will you ?
Can i treat the conversation as nothing ?
I can treat as i never see that conversation before.

I am simply pathetic.
If the only way to be with you is in my dreams. I will slp forever.

What hurts me the most is not u don like me. Its when u tell me that i am wasting my time on you. I AM NOT. And its my time, i like spending my time on you. Just let me continue will you ? U promised u wont stop me from doing anything. :(

STUDY STUDY STUDY.

Okay, here to blog a while.
Bcos my monday blues are all gone. hahas.~

Regarding the Os, Xiaosi is in her SCL camp. :(
Then yin zhi and Guanwei is already rushing.
So i just do my part and send to Xiaosi. Hopefully she can do them.
heheees~.

Okay, i need to study very hard. Liar pants will catch fire.
Off to study. bye !! hahas.

Damn not in fucking gd mood today. Everything seems to get in my way. I think bcos my pathetic monday morning was spoiled and i miss him so much. :(

maybe i make a mistake not going and regreting.

Now i know whats kills a person the most. Jealousy.

MONDAY BLUES.

Today morning is spoiled. :(
by a sms from a leeling. Rushing Os again. hais.
she wants it by this wednesday. And hey, i got camp on thursday ?
Therefore i will be freaking busy lah.
Rushing me on reception Os, Games Os and blah blah blah.
I need to study okay ??!!
2 wks later is my common test. Who is going to take up the consequences if i flunk them ??
My engineering mechanics need help lah !! and my stupid maths paper also.
i start to worry.

SJAB and SJAB.
enough is enough man.
Os and snco and freaking games day and NPD public duty is driving my life crazy.
I am already busy enough with school's report and projects.
I don care. I am leaving soon. Very soon. :)
finish grumbling. hahas. feeling better.
but i miss him so much.

Okay, back to my own world without SJAB.
Disturb my world only. hahas.

Yest talk to granduncle and he is super bias !!
And he super love to attitude me. * pissed *.
hahas.~
and he tell me a secret yest.
he tell me i must listen carefully. very carefully.
and his secret is.. hahas~ ask him urself.

okay, he was slping yest.
i wanted to talk to him. :(
he's tired. he's busy. i know.
so no grumbles. :)

Okay. some zilian-ing ( random ) pics.

The pouch i brought yest.

spastic.

Okay. i look super fat.

TIRED.

Today abit tired. I just woke up also.
yawns.~
Last night slp rather early but today woke up early also.
I slept early last night and Granduncle ben say i " lousy ". wth lor. hahas.

Okay, today morning accompany my mum and to taka shopping.
didnt buy anything but i saw a tee super nice.( to me lah ). but its for guys.-.-
thinking of buying for him. but what if he dowan ? omg. sobs.~i cant imagine.
Its rather abnormal i didnt request to buy anything.
Because i want to save money. :)
I gd girl. =D

And i saw bugs bunny, slyvester and tweety !! hahas.
happy~ can i have them at hm ?
but no tazmania. sobs. :(
Went hm shortly after seeing them. I am tired.~

Ur msn nick is utterly nonsense. I wont get tired.

I am laughing like hell okay. hahas.
Bcos someone say some super funny stuff.
And i seriously mean SUPER FUNNY.
i am laughing infront of my screen.
hahas. =D

SHOP AND BROKE.

Went shopping today with Xiaosi after meeting Guan wei and Yin zhi for lunch.
We went to Bugis as Orchard is too far.
I am a lazy pig. hahas.
( i must stop using " lols." so i use hahas instead. lols ) opps.
Don't want to go orchard today also bcos i am going tml.
So i suddenly change location. Boring.~

Well, didnt regret going to bugis.
Brought myself some accessories, Jiawen's birthday present.
Also brought a pouch and comb today. hahas.
And i saw Da jie at bugis. She was on her way to work.
Then at Bugis mrt station, i saw Andrew !!
Super long never see him. hahas. missing my friends.
Okay, and then i declare broke.
Daddy~ can i have 500 bucks again ?

Went out at abt 10 so i came hm at abt 4.
Super tired. hahas.
And that sun is super big. Hot !! sweat. Not nice. :(

I am missing him already. How do i pass 2 wks ?

studying very hard last time. now i super lazy.=P

Loves.

Snap by xuan when she was playing with my hp.

Mother and us.

WHAT A PIG.

U ppl must be wondering who i talking abt right ?? lols.
I AM TALKING ABT MYSELF.
Bcos i seriously think i am one. I slept from 7.15 yest to 7.30 the next morning lah. Actually the time on my blog is super wierd. Now the time i am blogging is at 7.42a.m on 9 June 2007.
Yet the date appear on top is erm. ( look at above ).
Super wierd. Like my time has slow down. :) ~ hehee

Okay, Grandmother, see ur name is on top of the " My Loves " list already. lols.
Er jie has went for camp. Missing her. :(
Next wk is my turn.
Btw, now i know our " SI " family bloog really has the zilian-ing genes flowing around.
Bcos we have some family members super zilian. lols.
Well, i don denied. I am one of them. hehee~

Later going out at 9 plus to meet Xiaosi, Guanwei and Yin zhi for games day meeting. Got to give xiaosi morning call later, if not she confirm late.
Then i am going shopping with her later !! lols.
SHOP SHOP SHOP !!
Rmb, SAVE AND SHOP. lols.

Blog at night if i have the time. Bye :D


Sometimes, all u have to do is pick up some courage to love.

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL BEFORE HOLS.

Today lesson was okay.

Had CNC test.

Everyone's paper different and mine was super difficult.

And i emphasize SUPER.

I saw Bryan's paper. How unfair lah.

His is super easy. Okay, i am ready to fail that test le lah. :(

Today is the last day of school before hols come.

I will miss my friends and him for 2 wks.

And i must pull my socks. lols.

Especially for maths and engineering mechanics. Anyone wanna volunteer to help me during the hols ?

Meeting Xiaosi tml go walk walk. I wanna go shop shop.

Its not that i dowan to go sentosa. but i felt super extra. :(

I shall go shop shop with xiaosi. I need to buy lots of stuffs.

I need to save money. :(

I love staying up late with you. Let me accompany you ?

LOVE MY FAMILY.

I LOVE MY SU FAMILY.
But to emphazise. MY SI family.
I love my grandfather lucius.
I love my grandmother Jessica.
I love my granduncle Benjamin.
I love my father poh lin.
I love my mother Shikin.
I love my Da jie Peiying.
I love my Er jie Theo.

and i love him most. :)

I SAW SIYING !!

Okay, i very happy now. Bcos i saw siying today and took bus hm with her. !! lols.
i miss her so much.
And i also meet xiaosi today, went to her hse and then we go century square eat long john. lols.
Super long never eat that le lah.
At first was suppose to meet leslie also, but i need to rush hm.
He was held up at work so there goes my microsoft word 2007. :(

Got lots of work to do. :(
I wanna watch incredible tales. weee~
I wanna talk to him.
So i going to hurry my work.

Bye. :) I am loving him.

MY SU FAMILY IS PISSED.

My SU family is fucking pissed by the girl who tag er jie's blog scolding her. All types of vulgarities is scolded there. Being called a slut, a bitch and yet she continue to do childish acts. What a whore.

I don understand why nowadays ppl fucking bored. Tag others blog scolding others, discriminating others blog. Damn bo liao.
Grandfather, Mother and me fucking pissed lah.
Today blog again. Now in school, cos fucking pissed thats why blog.

Missing you at the moment.

WHATEVER.

Whatever u want to discriminate, my personal blog. Don spam. Scram if u are unhappy.
Okay. I don wish to say who his fucking person is cos i am nice to give u some bloody face.
Whatever u want to say okay, say i bitch, slut. Whatever lah. I don give it a damn.
Scram lah Fucker. i am saying it nicely.

Sorry abt this post being so vulgar. But i am seriously fucking pissed.
What fucking rights do u have to discriminate my blog ??

And free advertisement also, some bitch who call others bitch scolded er jie on blog.
Must go read. Cos i don see why nowadays ppl get more and more childish.
Come on, get a life. Lock ur bf up at hm in the cupboard and throw the key away.
So no one will ever find ur fucking " handsome " bf lah.
I must tk a look at ur bf man. How handsome he is.
blame ppl or snatching ur bf when they didnt. Pls hor, it tks 2 hands to clap.
Must be he flirt first or he flirt back.
And don spend ur fucking time tagging ppl's blog.
Go watch out more for ur pathetic bf lah. In case he starts flirting behind ur back.

Nowadays ppl are FUCKING childish.

SHORT POST.

This post is short bcos i dowan the post below to be push down. lols.
Today nothing much.
Thanks PL papa for ur understanding. :)

No perverts.
Love only him.<3

*Actually i love you, dowan to lose you but i no strength to keep you. :(

:( PLS READ. ITS FOR YOU.

Why everytime i read ur blog, It always blog abt something pessimistic.
Something that makes me feel sour and bitter over it.
I know u DON CARE.
Don care abt how i feel.
Don care abt what i think.
All this simply makes me feel totally helpless.

I was in bad mood today.
Bcos u tell me u don care, and i reply u harshly.
" don care don care lor since u can get happy over it.. "
I didnt mean to.
I hope u care, i hope u understand.
Ur words hurt me when u say u don care.
I dunno if u really meant it.
I am sad and worried. I don dare disturb u that much.
I scared u find me very irritating.
I scared it might make u feel more stress.
I know u very busy, very stress.
Thats why i didnt want to stress u further.
Can u don like that ? Can u don " don care " ??

I don mean what i say.
Especially when i say i don care abt u not caring. Bcos i care a lot.
Pls don treat me as a nobody.

You think im so tough but i just never let u see me cry. :(

DAMN FUCKED UP.

I seriously dunno what to say lah. I just feel today damn FUCKED UP !!! argggg.

SORRY.

Sorry. I know u like me and u are very nice. Everyone say so too.
But the problem is i don have that type of feeling for you.
I don like you, cos i already have someone i love a lot.
I didnt want you to pin hopes on me. Cos i really don see any hopes between us.
Althou i dunno whether there is hopes in between me and the guy i love.
But, i am willingly to try and wait.
Sometimes, u dunno what's gd abt the person, why u love him so much but some ppl just cant be replaced.
I am really sorry.
U can find someone better than me for sure.
Don pin hopes on me.
He cant be replaced.

Sorry. :(

WHAT A FRIEND SEND ME.

Life...
Sometimes you might heard someone saying:"I'm sick of my life man, its totally sucks". And after a few days, he/she will say:"Wow i feel like I’m at top of the mountain now, my life is great".

Life is just like a graph, it never be a straight line. There's bound to be high and low. When we are at our high peak, everything thing went smoothly as we plan, and get the result we wanted or higher than our expectation.
But when we are our low peak we are facing challenges, difficulties and problems, and sometimes when things are getting out of hand, we might tend to give up or leave it aside.

When we are at our low peak, problems is one of the main factors that really drain us out. Because when we handle a problem for too long, it tends to tired us out not physically but mentally. When we are physically tired, after sleeping for a night we will get refresh and begin a brand new day. But when we are mentally tired, it takes longer time to recover and for some situation its not easy to get recover.

Problem is a very strange thing because it will always come in group, and when problem is not solve, yet another problem arise.
Each and every person has its own limits, its just like a measuring cylinder and the water is stress. When water(stress) begins to fills up the measuring cylinder, when it's fill up to the brim thats when our limit is reach. And when it is overflow, that's when our mental started to break down.

When you are mentally stress out or break down, its time to pour out the water(stress). Leave your problems aside first, then find things that really relieve your stress. Or forget about the problems you have and go out and enjoy yourself for a day, just find means and ways to relieve your stress. Take a good bath, tuck yourself in bed and sleep as early as possible. If it works well on you, when you wake up you will find yourself refresh and tell yourself:"Its' time to solve my problems, one by one."

When you are solving our problems, there are 2 results; either solve the problem completely or make it worse. To prevent matters getting worse, have a clear mind that can think and make decision, make right decision.
When your mind is in a messy state, you can't think properly nevertheless to say making a right decision. Purpose to relieve all the stress, is to prepare yourself in a better mental status to solve the problems without any regrets. When a decision is made, if you made the wrong one you will regret, and regret is forever.

When you have empty your measuring cylinder, its time for more stress :) and i can say you can take more stress than the previous. You will get more stronger after each challenges you face, after each problem you solve, because you learn and grow.


~Don't make wrong decision as it leads to regret, don't regret if wrong decision is made, because it's you the one who made the decision, and regret is forever~

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

LATE FOR SCHOOL 3rd TIME.

Okay. I am like late for school today. lols.
Bcos i overslept. :)

Actually i woke up at 8 and give someone morning call. Then after that i was super tired, so i fall back aslp till 8.40. Actually i got something wrong. I thought lesson start at 11 bcos Bryan say it start at 11 yest as engineering mechanics lesson was cancelled. So i heard and i was like : " oh okay, start at 11. " and i am super happy cos can slp longer. Then as i was slping, i think back. i thought first lesson is Maths ??? last lesson then engineering mechanics ?? then where will possible start at 11 ?? so in slping mood, i called ben and ask. Ben say start at 10. So i was late.

Nowadays lesson super wierd. Either cancelled or let off super early. whats wrong man ?? lols.
Super wierd.

i heard a shocking news. i dowan to elaborate further. ask me if u want to know. :)
i am dying.

LONG LONG DAY.

What a long day today.
Monday lessons always from 10-5. Super boring lah. Physics and engineering mechanics.
Why everyone say easy ?? I don understand lah. Am i dumb or what ? :(

Okay, after end lesson. Went down to Lavender for interview. Lucky there is chye seng and Bryan to accompany me tk mrt. Waited so long for that interview. Boreddddd.
And before that interview, i meet 2 perverts again. ang moh somemore. omg lor. WTH.
Wanna know more, ask me. I lazy to type. lols.

lazy. :) i saw him today. Happy !! lols !!!

My motivation. I cant imagine myself without him. I will DIE !!

SORRY.

I am not going to pressurize u. So sorry i made u damn stress. But i didnt mean to. I am just eager and bcos i care. hais. okay. So sorry. i know u very busy nowadays. I am just too worried. I really think too much but thats bcos i care. so sorry. :(


My love is like a circle. Never ending. :)

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY XIAOSI !!

Happy belated birthday to Xiaosi !! lols. Yest was super tired. i slp whole day.

nothing much to blog when i am not in sch or in gd mood. lols. :)

sorry to miss out snco course day. gotta ask ard. :(

I still love him lots. and i mean a lot. :)