LITTLE MISS GIGGLES

A LONG POST

A extremely bad day for me.
His words, hurt me deeply.
The conversation.
you sound pissed and i can tell.
Every word u say, i thought abt it. Nothing came in my mind.
Only tears unable to controll themselves.

I went offline not bcos i wanted to sleep.
Bcos i dunno how long i can stand just let tears rolling down.
without breakng down.
I don't want to talk abt that topic. I choose to run away from it.
Bcos i dunno how long can i withstand those hurting sentences in the conversation.

After going offline, i msg you.
Requesting if u can never talk to me abt that again.
U reply. U change topic. U didnt answer my question.
I ask that question again. U still refuse to answer.
I dunno what to say.

In the conversation, u say i am too nice.
Too nice that u are not worth me doing all this.
Let me tell you, i arent nice.
Bcos i wont listen to you.
You say i am wasting my time.
But its " MY " time. and i like to spend it this way.
U break ur promise.
U promised me you wont stop me from doing anything.
Yet u are stopping me now.

I dunno what happen to you.
Ur msn nick.
I want to know, but i don dare to ask.
I wanted to help you, even letting you vent anger on.
But i dunno anything.
I feel helpless. I don't want to see your msn nick like this.
And then u tell me all those stuff.
I rather u call me, tell me that u are unhappy.
Then i keep quiet. Let u say all those unhappiness.
Let u vent ur anger.
Why cant it just be this way ?

I know u don like me.
I know, i do know. You don have to draw such a clear line.
I know u dislike relationship. I didnt even think of that.
I also don dare. I just wanted you to sometimes care for me a bit.
As a friend i know.

Since how long ago, you have been telling me that u "suck".
Tell me that u arent a nice person, tell me that u are selfish.
But did i listen ? did i care ?
And i have seen u trying to prove all this to me.
Trying to prove u a arent nice, prove u are selfish.
I have seen it but did i leave ? did i care ?
NO.
Bcos i didnt want to leave, i rather take ur so called " selfish-ness".
When u want to be alone, i stand aside and keep quiet.

I am stubborn, i don listen to others.
Others say, do u know u have been emotionally unstable ?
I don listen, i dowan to listen. I am stubborn and silly.
I just want to live in my own world with just doing things for you.
Even without getting anything in return. Even when u tell me it might go no way.
I am hurt. But i want to continue.
Friends tell me, " stop it !! You are getting urself deeper and u will feel more hurt next time".
I dunno. I don care.
And then i get back reply saying i am dumb, i sld go and kill myself.
I don give it a damn.
I just want to carry on this way even if it is going no way.

Things are very easy.
I like you. Its my heart.
U cant stop me.

Just let me continue pls ? will you ?
Can i treat the conversation as nothing ?
I can treat as i never see that conversation before.

I am simply pathetic.
If the only way to be with you is in my dreams. I will slp forever.