I SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY ON THE COM.
why oh why. thanks to our lovely e-learning program.
seriously, it sucks BIG TIME! :/

& its really funny how the 98% of the sch is online,
at the same time cursing & swearing it on fb. :D
the sch is stop implementing this next yr,
its like i rather travel my journey to sch & have lessons there.
fyi, i live at tampines.

fine alright,
this is a short wk ahead though.
sch tmrw, sch on wed.
thurs is CIP day, we're heading to some old folks home.
& im probably going out after that.
& OHH yeah, friday is good fridayy. :)

it sure its a good friday, extended wkend.
(:

Just as you think that everything is in place,
they start to fall apart.
& who'll understand how that feeling feels,
when it was abt to be yours & yet it wasnt or wont be.
so near yet so far. how do i cope with that?
you're such a mystery.

probably due to the weather or what,
im sickk once again.
down with a fever & a bad sore throat,
my voice is turning hoarse as well.
worse i've got a stomach flu.
& i didnt go to sch today.
i guess you probably didnt even realise.

went to the doc,
& once again she gave me lots of med.
i really hate tablets.
whenever im sick, i feel like crying.
cos it isnt some good sign of life.

yes i've decided.
i want to find a balance in both areas.
i need to learn to balance,
because i cant give up on either side. (:
i gotta study hard & love you at the same time.
go on girl! :D

ohh.
next outinggg!
can we go to the zoo someday in the wkends?
i wanna go to the zoo with youuu! :)
someday alright?
(:

crap.
i feel like crap once again.
life's like a rollercoaster ride nowadays.

had some memories rewind today.
first aid com was a great memory to have,
the time when we train so hard tgt, cry tgt, laugh out loud tgt.
even those punishments were memories so great.
hey my nc team, <3
i miss doing footdrills, case study & home nursing with you guys.
but sadly life cant be rewind or pause.

& im needing of some reflection time.
had a heart to heart talk with a sec sch teacher today.
he always never failed to understand me or give the best advice.
kind of spilled out all my worries & stories in life.
he advise, question & made me think.
dear life; i realise i need to re-define you.

it's hard.
but im trying. i really am.
):

i might just try to vanish myself.

HEYHEYHEYO!
see those pics? i went marina barrage ytd!
like finally! senior bought me there! :D

when we reach there, there was only lightning risk.
& then it rain cats & dogs! rawrrrr.
so we had to stay indoors & watch the exhibitionnn.
but the exhibition was really cool! :D
due to the stupid rain, we had to like tour the exhibition twice.
but it was cool! xD

next up, we finally can step outside cos the rain stop.
but the field was water-logged & muddy. :/
so we merely just took a walk ard the perimeter! (:
& then it starts the drizzle again, so we decide to leave the place.
its a wise choice cos after that it starts to rain again!
^@#&^#@#!

then we took train back to tampines,
walk ard tampines1 & head to tampines mall for dinner. (:
went to delifrance to eat & senior dont wanna eat with me. ):
he keep forcing me to keep more onlyy. :/
after that we went to the inter & senior send me up my bus,
cos he needs to meet his parents for dinner.

THANKS A LOT SENIORRR! (:
i really enjoy myself a lot.
<3

AHH crap.
i feel like im getting fatter, i need to slim down badlyyy! :/
& i need to go back to sch for extra geog lesson tmrw,
4periods straight! ohh my gawddd.

& gosh.
my gastric problem is getting bad.
doc say if this contd, the situation is going to be worse than everrr.
i'll probably be dead by then.

i'm starting to feel the gap.
please stop expanding it further. :(
i ____ you.

i think i somehow knw.
i think i could guess it.

MINGLI you're damn screwed.

i just realise recently that its not a crush.
its actually something more serious than it.
& crap, im gone case.

ppl do qns, how much can you love?
you only knw him for how long?!
i always keep quiet to that.
because right in my mind, im asking myself,
"shit, why cant i answer that qns?"
& i knw, thats cos no matter what i say, nobody will believe.
even me myself, i cant believe this is more than a crush,
when the entire story only last less than 2months.

but i knw the answer to that,
" i do love him really a lot. too much that i cant even tell you cos you wont believe."
& the current moment, i feel like an idiot.
its like mingli in wonderland, i dont knw where the hell i am.
if i was ever heading your direction.

but well, im not giving up!
i'm sure i'll be able to open that castle in your heart,
i'll find that key no matter how long it takes.
let me try please? (:

everything is alright when you're here for me.
only if you're always there. (:

heyhey.
completed my napfa test today!
2.4 is pure torture.
HATE IT! i rather do 5stations for 10 times. :/

lots happen these days,
pardon me for not updating recently.
cos really really not in the mood.
got my As results for h1 that day,
got a S for my math & a A for chinese. :(
quite disappointed though.

i really really really feel that way.

i wont go away.
i wont go away even if you chase me away.
i wont go away even if i've to go against all odds.

i'll just wait even if ppl say im stupid.
i'll just wait even if you dont care the slightest bit.
i'll just wait even if i'm no longer ard.

how do i heal your scar?
& how're you going to heal mine?
how can you promise me to help me get back on my feet,
asking me to trust you yet you disappear the next moment?

where do i find my direction out.

i wonder how long i can stand.
maybe it seems like a good time for dieting.

we wouldn't knw how much each of us have gone through.
how much hurt we have to take,
that actually leave us the huge scar that we're unable to heal.

now its not that i still like them.
its just the fear of the hurt that i've gone through,
i'm afraid that i still have to go through them again.
& trust me, the next guy after you would suffer.
no guys will fall for me ever again cos i'll make them suffer.
i wont trust them at all.

i only knw.
after going through shits,
i've turn into a sensitive, insecure & low-confident person.

HEYO!
today was quite an awesome day! :D
though lessons was pretty much the same,
which is boring to the max!
but it was kinda cool cos i managed to complete an assignment alone!
:D sense of achievement yay!

ohh my dear senior had suspension today.
so i accompany him until 6. :D
so nice right?! xD
then he brought me to walk walk at north point!
its quite cool! (:
OHH! & i found a lot of senior-like stuff toys!
CUTE! :D
& something is wrong abt fairytale,
i kiss a frog, it didnt turn into a prince! :/

ohh senior!
there's marina barrage, zoo & universal studios..
SOMEDAY alright! :)

anyway, sch's having sports fiesta tmrw.
i've council studies. :/

i feel like crap now.
now all the stupid problem lies in me.
haunted by the past totally.

i need to re-think.

WOOHOO!
thats a present i bought for twinny! xD
birthday bears! cos we're the only may babies in class!
cute right!? i knw. :D

ahh crap.
today's sch is damn boringgg!
i literally had all subjects, including PE. :/
we did our 5stations of napfa for pe today!
im dead tireddd now!
& i disappointed, cos i didnt get A for standing board jump.
:x

CT screwed.
i wonder how. sigh.